You don’t need to lose weight!

I hear this all the time.  Yes, it’s a compliment but I know my body better than everyone. I’ll admit, in jeans and a long sleeved shirt, yup, I look pretty good, especially after being pregnant five times.

But in a bathing suit, I don’t feel comfortable.  I know I can easily stand to lose 10 pounds and still look healthy, not too skinny. But I’m not going to share my bathing suit pictures with everyone.  You’ll have to trust me, or ask a friend who has seen me at the pool.

I want to share that I have two weeks to lose at much weight as possible.  Why?  Because my husband has a meeting in South Florida and asked me to go with him.  Oh, why do I want to share?  Because I share a lot.  Probably too much.  But that’s just how I am.  I was that way even before social media.

But I know as soon as I share, people will tell me I don’t need to lose a pound, I look great the way I am, blah, blah, blah.  I deserve to feel comfortable.  I deserve to be happy.

I know I shouldn’t care what other people think and normally I don’t.  But it just gets annoying.  So be supportive of your friends.  Whether they want to gain weight, lose weight, try a new hair style, whatever.

I also have 2 weeks to finish half a semester of a math class I don’t understand so I can finally get my AA…..

Fitness bullying. Don’t be an asshole.

Bullying comes in all forms and it only seems to be getting worse.  Deciding to get yourself fit and healthy is a personal decision, one that is made by you, for you.  You’re excited.  You’re especially excited when you start noticing positive changes.  So, you share your happiness on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.  For others who know what you’re going through or have been in your shoes, you’ll see comments like, “That’s awesome!”  “Keep up the great work!”  “Way to go!”  I love seeing these.  These are your “people.”

You don’t expect to be bullied by haters.  They are probably too lazy to get up off of their fat asses, or they may have self esteem issues and just want to bash others to make themselves feel better.  You, know, the ones who say, “You don’t need to lose weight” or “Why do you have to post every time you workout?” or “Oh, look, Katie is at the gym again, shocking.”

I’ve seen friends APOLOGIZE for posting about a 5k success, or going to the gym, or losing 5 pounds or skipping McDonald’s and eating a healthy, homemade snack.  It’s YOUR social media page!  It’s YOUR life!  If someone makes a nasty comment on a post or sends you a private message because they are too chicken shit to call you out in front of those who support you, delete the bitches.  Block them, message back for them to unfollow you, or click the option to hide them when you post about getting fit and healthy.  Whatever you do, don’t let them bring you down.  And never, ever, EVER apologize for posting your fit and healthy successes no matter how big or how small they may be.  Ever.

Never. Ever.

12472372_10209102213099248_5029504665586219505_n  I ignored the haters!!!

If YOU are one of these assholes, STOP.  Who are you to tell someone if they need to lose weight or not?  Are you their doctor?  Nope.  Why do you think it’s your business to say something negative because she ran her first 5k or beat her previous time by 30 seconds? It’s not.  Yes, she posted it out there for all to see.  But, she posted it because she wanted to share something positive.  I can almost guarantee no one posts something so others will leave nasty comments.  Would you tell her to her face that you don’t give a flying flip that she just squatted 100 lbs?  Would you tell her to her face that you’re tired of seeing her post her before and after pictures?  Yes?  Good for you.  If not, don’t say it while you’re hiding behind a computer screen shoving Twinkies in your mouth.   If you don’t want to see other people’s successes, unfollow, unfriend or just keep scrolling.  Unless you were born under a rock, you have to have heard the saying, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothin’ at all.” -Bambi movie

This is why I run my TBMG Real Fit Mom fitness challenges in a closed group.  So women have a place to feel comfortable to post whatever they want and know that they won’t be put down or ridiculed.  If they want to share on my RFM Facebook business page, I encourage that.  Even better, if they share on their own page. But not everyone is comfortable doing that.  Those that do, often get crapped on.

If you have a weight problem and glare at the screen when you see your friend post when she reached a goal, reach out to her privately.  Or join one of the hundreds of weight loss Facebook groups.  Many of them have thousands of women in them so the chances of you knowing someone in there is slim.  Start by making small changes in your life, starting with not being a bully when someone else is trying to get fit and healthy.  Focus on you, not how others are doing.  Everyone is different.  We all have different goals, challenges, reasons, stories, set backs, successes and desires.  Find yours.  Just make sure it’s a positive one and one for you.

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I am not you. You are not him.

In the fitness world, we are like snowflakes.  No two people trying to lose weight, build muscle, eat healthy are exactly alike.  We have different bodies, different goals, different loves (and hatred) for various forms of exercise and eating.

I love taking walks. I love fun 5k runs (except I walk them).  I’m learning to love lifting.  I love dance fitness DVDs, some of the P90x videos and I now tolerate Brazil Butt Lift about twice a year….for a few days.

I have friends who absolutely do NOT want to weight lift.  For some, they fall under the “I don’t want to look like Arnold” misconception but for many, they just don’t wanna.  I have friends who have to go to the gym and they LOVE to go to the gym.  Some of them can run on the treadmill for an hour.  Some love the different classes.  Some love the weights.

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I have friends who hate any form of cardio.  Some of them love to lift weights, some just don’t exercise at all- in any form.

We are all different and I respect each of my friends, their goals, likes, dislikes and opinions.  I even respect the ones who choose to lead unhealthy lifestyles.  They know how I feel.  If they want to jump on the bandwagon, I’ll pull them along myself.

Our fitness movement is growing every day.  Let’s not allow social media to start a war within ourselves- “they” love to do that.  Look what they’ve done to moms and politics.  Let’s band together, learn to love each other, learn from each other, support each other no matter how we choose to get fit and healthy.

Don’t break down others because they don’t share your opinion.  Share your love, share your passion, share your tips and share your advice.  You might just change someone’s perception.

Cupcakes make you huge, not weights

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There is such a misconception about lifting weights.  Yes, you CAN get big and bulky by lifting but it takes a LOT of work that you have to do on purpose.  Many women lift and stay slender.  I know some women who have lost all of their weight JUST by lifting, avoiding cardio.  Of course food always has a lot to do with losing weight but lifting should be a big part of it, too.  Lifting can speed up weight loss which is a huge win if you ask me.  If you don’t want to look like a female version of The Rock, focus on using smaller weights with higher reps.  If you want to bulk up, use heavier weights with smaller reps.

Women need to stop being afraid of lifting weights.  I hope this short blurb changes your perception.

I don’t have time

“I don’t have time.”

This is the biggest excuse I hear.  I even tell myself this same thing sometimes.  Most of us are legitimately busy.  I get it.  But it’s an excuse.

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Even though my 22 year old is at college, I still have to take time for her.  She called me last night needing to talk and instead of sitting in my room, I walked around outside.  My 2nd one is also at college- I’m going with her.  We take the stairs instead of the elevator every day- 3 flights.  Then I walk down 3 flights outside then back up 2 for my second class.  When we are studying, we’ll take 5 minute breaks to go on a quick walk or I’ll do some little strength training exercises.

My youngest is a dancer.  When she was little I was right there with all of the other preschool parents with my face pressed against the glass.  But now that she’s older, I’ll either go home and go on a walk or walk around the building at the studio with some of the other moms.  There’s no reason for me to sit on my ass for hours watching her (although I do every once in a while).  I know she’s safe.  She’s not going anywhere.  Might as well make good use of my time for me.

Most of us have to cook dinner, right?  While you’re waiting for the pot to boil, do some push ups against the counter, walking lunges down the hall or squats in front of the stove.  Jog in place.  I step in place when I wash dishes, wait for the tub to fill or the shower to get hot.  You know kids are never ready when we want them to be.  While you’re standing at the door loaded down with their backpacks while they find a missing shoe or book, do some calf raises or squats.  Got a little one at home?  Strap them on and do squats and lunges.  Use them for bicep curls or shoulder lifts.  Stick them in a stroller or in a bike seat and go for a walk or ride.  At a theme park?  Use your time in line doing push ups or tricep dips against the railing.  Do squats with a kid, lunges or slightly inconspicuous calf raises.  Who cares if other people look at you funny.  You’re not getting fit and healthy for them.  You’re doing it for you.  Plus, you’re never going to see them again anyway.  And if they happen to take a video of you to post on their Facebook?  Jokes on them.  YOU are doing something positive to make your life better.  Standing in line at the store?  Same thing.  Use your time wisely.

No time?  Too busy?

Bullshit.

I’m a full time mom of 4, part-time college student, lead admin for Tampa Bay Moms Group, I run fitness challenges, blog, drive my kids all over town, am a semi-crazy dance mom, former baseball/soccer/volleyball/track mom, full time wife of a work-at-home husband who travels, and a whole bunch of other crap I’ve forgotten.

You CAN find the time.  You just have to want it bad enough.

Slow and steady!!!

The first picture is from last fall but I’m still damn proud.  I hit 153.3 in the spring of 2013 after being rear ended.  It took about a year to get and stay under 140 lbs and another year to hit and stay under 130.  During our last 2 challenges, I maintained my weight staying in the 129-131 range.  We began a new one about two weeks ago and I saw 126.6 for the first time in several years.

12235133_10208085194714424_1057883123288829991_nI told my husband, yesterday, that I no longer walk with my head down, hiding myself.  I walk through parking lots and stores with my head held high.  I’m learning to love myself, both inside and outside, more and more every day.  I’m not perfect and I never will be.  My body has been through five pregnancies and births.  I’ve been broken and bruised.  I get older every day.  But I fight to make myself a better person and fight myself to love me.

I’m not where I want to be but I’ll get there.  I decided, yesterday, to cancel my WBFF goal.  I’m not ready mentally or physically.  I may never be ready.  If I do a fitness show, great.  If I don’t, I’m not going to beat myself up about it.  It takes extreme dedication and I’m just not there right now.  I may never be.  But I’m not a failure.  I push myself a little more every day.  I’ll get to where I want to be on my own time.  Right this minute, I’m extremely happy with how I look today.  I’ve even become comfortable enough without primping before taking pictures- no make up and I’m pretty sure that’s what my hair looked like when I woke up.

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Work hard, take things slow, learn to love yourself and never give up.  You will get there eventually. ❤

 

Making a fitness goal…while eating a taco

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.  But it was a chicken taco, homemade.  Ok, Old El Paso homemade but at least it wasn’t Taco Hell which I’m proud to say I haven’t eaten in over a year.  Yuck.

And I only ate one even though I wanted three.  Fortunately my son went back for seconds and ate them all.

I should also confess that I had a slice of pizza for lunch.  Again, I only had one slice where I used to eat two or three.  Everything in moderation!  About an hour later, I really wished I’d had tuna, though.  :/

I started out great this morning.  But that’s pretty much how every day begins.  I had a protein shake, probably not the best one but it beats Coco Puffs and whole milk.  Hey, I’m making changes.  I use Publix vanilla protein powder, Quaker Oats oatmeal and reduced fat Peter Pan crunchy peanut butter (which I bought to make pb&j sandwiches but decided to cut out bread).

Back to my goal.  It’s the same goal I had last year but didn’t come close.  I want to compete in the WBFF (World Beauty Fitness and Fashion show).  My friend, Gina, competed a couple of years ago and won her pro card.  Yes, it would be awesome to win, but my goal is to walk on the stage and not fall on my ass or look stupid.  That’s all I want.

full.jpg  That’s Gina on the right.  Talk about motivation!!!

I know what I have to do.  I know the workouts needed, the coaching I’ll have to get and the foods I will need to eat.  I think I can do it.  There are 113 days until the WBFF comes to Tampa.  Time is running out so I need to put the pizza and tacos down and get busy.

Gina posted a promotional picture for the WBFF a couple of days ago and I liked it.  Today, I went back and commented on it.  I admitted out there for everyone to see that I wanted to do it this year.  About the same time, my friend, Connell, posted a picture of himself at a gym stating that he’s committed to better health.  Having someone who has their pro card believe in me and seeing Connell make his commitment is motivating.  Earlier today, I had a discussion in a group about restless leg syndrome.  A mom told me that once she started exercising regularly, it went away.  That’s motivating. (If you don’t have RLS, consider yourself lucky.  It sucks and is one of the reasons I was induced 2 weeks early with Maggerina Ballerina– shameless plug).

12924393_10209373992805964_753306302817983983_n.jpg   Love this guy!!

Getting rid of my “fat” jeans and pants was motivating.  I don’t want to ever need those again.  I’m not fat but I have fat I don’t want anymore. I have a lot of muscle to build.  Like, a LOT a lot. That’s motivating.  I run fitness challenges and need to be a positive roll model for my fitness moms.  That’s motivating.  So here’s my public announcement (again) that I want to compete in the WBFF on July 23rd, 2016 in Tampa.  Feel free to hound me on my Real Fit Mom Facebook page (like and follow!).  I check it throughout the day so I’ll see your comments and messages.  Are you ready?  Let’s go!!

Now go away so I can get my P90x done for today.  🙂

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What are your fitness goal?  What’s your motivation?