You don’t need to lose weight!

I hear this all the time.  Yes, it’s a compliment but I know my body better than everyone. I’ll admit, in jeans and a long sleeved shirt, yup, I look pretty good, especially after being pregnant five times.

But in a bathing suit, I don’t feel comfortable.  I know I can easily stand to lose 10 pounds and still look healthy, not too skinny. But I’m not going to share my bathing suit pictures with everyone.  You’ll have to trust me, or ask a friend who has seen me at the pool.

I want to share that I have two weeks to lose at much weight as possible.  Why?  Because my husband has a meeting in South Florida and asked me to go with him.  Oh, why do I want to share?  Because I share a lot.  Probably too much.  But that’s just how I am.  I was that way even before social media.

But I know as soon as I share, people will tell me I don’t need to lose a pound, I look great the way I am, blah, blah, blah.  I deserve to feel comfortable.  I deserve to be happy.

I know I shouldn’t care what other people think and normally I don’t.  But it just gets annoying.  So be supportive of your friends.  Whether they want to gain weight, lose weight, try a new hair style, whatever.

I also have 2 weeks to finish half a semester of a math class I don’t understand so I can finally get my AA…..

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Self confidence, losing weight and finding me

Wow it’s been a while since I posted.  A LOT has been going on!

I’ve never had much confidence since I hit the dreadful junior high years. It’s something I’m trying to change….at 42. I have a lot of upcoming goals for myself.  Before the Hot For Halloween challenge, I had my 18 year old take before pictures of me in shorts and a tank top and even in a bathing suit.  I sucked it up and posted the one of me in the shorts on my Facebook. 70 likes and over 25 comments.  I was shocked and humbled.

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Two years ago, after being rear ended, I hit an all time high weight for my small frame- 153 lbs (before kids I was 103, after kids, high teens low 20’s…although I’d reached 143 at one point). With the support and encouragement of my husband and best friend, I changed my main goal of looking hot to being healthy (okay, and looking hot but health came first). I could have hit my end goal a year ago. 6 months ago. 3 months ago. But I’m not easily motivated. I slowly changed my eating and worked out a little. Seeing the scale flash “149” was a big relief. Several months later I saw it flash “139” and I knew I was on my way.  Slow and steady wins the race.

During our last fitness challenge on Tampa Bay Moms Group, the pounds were slowly creeping off. See my Spa 20 review– it helped get me off my butt. I still wasn’t working out much but was working harder on my food issue. In the middle of this 6 week challenge, I was hit with a mild but painful health issue so couldn’t work out. I was also dealing with a couple of personal issues and instead of my usual emotional eating- eating everything in site thinking it would make me feel better- I did the opposite. Still not healthy but I dropped 10 lbs in 2 weeks. At the end of the challenge, I was down 11.5 in and 10.9 lbs. I was down a total of 24 lbs.  I was thrilled!  Not about doing it by not eating but for me, pounds lost were pounds lost.

One of my many goals is to take more pictures of myself. Some of the moms in my fitness challenges, myself included, have self esteem issues. It’s something we will be addressing during our next challenge, Relentless, which starts on November 15th.  Yesterday, Hubby and I went to see a play.  I put on a dress that didn’t fit 3 months ago and my new sparkly shoes.  I curled my hair and carefully applied my make up.  When I got home, I handed my phone to my 18 year old and asked her to take a picture.  I sucked it up and posted it on Facebook- then walked away.  I admit, I squinted at the comments with one eye a couple of times.  This morning, almost 70 friends had liked my picture and several left comments.  I have to admit, it felt good.  It’s also inspiring and motivating.

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Last week, I ran into a friend I hadn’t seen in a couple of months.  She said right away that my face looked thinner.  I can’t tell you how good it feels when people notice you’ve lost weight.  It’s motivating.  It inspires me to keep searching for me.  I didn’t feel like me surrounded by the fat I wasn’t used to.  I’ve been fighting with Slacker Fattie since 2009.  She’s unhealthy and lazy.  I was so glad to rename “Skinny Bitch” to “Fit Bitch” and should probably rename her “Healthy Bitch.”  She is slowly but surely conquering Slacker Fattie.  OMG, just reread the last few lines and I sound like a crazy bitch.  LOL  I’m excited!  I’m anxious to get off of here and dust off my DVDs and get back to working out.

You’ll be hearing from this no-more-Slacker-Fattie-almost-skinny-getting-fit-and-healthy-bitch very soon!!!

I need to STOP!

Stop comparing my blog to the beauty of Necessary Indulgences and the consistency of My Handmade Life.  I need to stop thinking I’ll one day look like Jennifer Nicole Lee and be able to stick to the exercise regimen Douglas Zimmerman developed for me.

I need to start doing things on my time.  No, scratch that.  I will start doing things on my time.  I will start doing things the way that works for me.  Getting fit and organizing my ADD, I can do this.

I got some new toys to help me with this new revelation but you’ll have to wait and see if I stick to this and share them with you.  Consider it a tease for you and motivation for me- to not leave my 6 readers hanging.  Who knows?  Maybe this will get 7 people to start reading my blog!  I can’t control that either so we’ll just get this show back on the road and see what happens.

Let’s go!