Fit Bitch is retiring

Yesterday, I declared Slacker Fattie dead.  As I was writing the post I thought about Fit Bitch (formerly Skinny Bitch) and realized having one without the other just didn’t seem right.

So, I’ve decided to retire Fit Bitch.  No big fanfare needed.  No pictures to steal from Google Images.  She’s packing up her desk in a simple cardboard box and headed back to the abyss she evolved from.

The two were created to explain the inner push and pull many of us have in our struggle to become fit and healthy.  Sometimes I felt a little schizophrenic when writing about them but it was just the Gemini in me.  For me, that struggle is over.  I’m confident that Real Fit Mom will no longer need a devil and angel.

It feels good to close that chapter of my fit life.  Now I’m focusing simply on being real, being fit and being a mom (and wife…and person).

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Slacker Fattie is dead. Moment of silence….

Okay, that’s long enough.  I’m not sad.  I am a little disappointed I was never able to find someone to create a cartoon character of her so we could have a proper funeral, though.  Here, we’ll mummify her.

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How do I know she’s dead?

It’s the middle of the day.  I just ate lunch (including a handful of mint M&M’s).  I’m in my workout clothes.  I just wrapped up a blog post and decided to take a “powder my nose” break.  I decided to get on the scale which I NEVER do.  The scale is strictly for the morning, after I powder my nose and before I put clothes on activity.  Today I broke that rule.  I’m impatient and don’t feel like waiting until the morning to write this.  Apparently I’m on a blogging roll thanks to my Relentless Challenge moms.  Anyway, I took my tennis shoes off (no need to add that extra weight) and stepped on the scale.  The numbers 132 flashed at me.

On Halloween I hit 129.6 lbs for the first time in years and have seen it off and on since then.  I’ve stayed under 133 even without working out much but with eating better.  I even allowed alcohol back into my diet a bit.  So with not exercising regularly, allowing myself alcohol on occasion, having pumpkin pie, apple pie (at Thanksgiving, not all the time) and even eating some pizza now and again, I am still under 133.

I’m officially declaring Slacker Fattie dead.  There will be no tears.  There will be no ceremony or organ music playing.  She’s kicked to the curb.

Now I know life can toss some curve balls.  I’m perfectly aware that she could tear through the gauze, push off the heavy sarcophagus lid and dig through six feet of healthy food and workouts and haunt my progress.

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But she’s been gone for over three months- once the 130’s reappeared on the scale.  That’s a long time for her to be gone.  I’m comfortable calling the time of death- Fall of 2015- and notifying the family- Fit Bitch shed a single tear.  So, goodbye Slacker Fattie.  You are dead, gone and buried.  I won’t miss you.

You CAN do it with small changes

This morning I was chatting with one of my fitness moms through Messenger.  I was popping back and forth between her and Facebook when a before and after picture of a mom in a large group I’m in showed in my Newsfeed.  I saved the picture, took a screen shot of what she ate to lose 70 pounds and send it to her.  She was amazed but said she’d never be able to do a diet like that.  I’m assuming the mom who lost the 70 pounds is from Australia since I just discovered, after meeting an Aussie, that they eat kangaroo.

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I’d just eaten some oatmeal and had a glass of water while we were messaging.  Her comment made me think back to when I started my journey to becoming fit six years ago.  I remember telling my trainer, Douglas, that I would never give up my whole milk, sugar cereal, soda, fast food, pizza, chips and queso and alcohol.  I hated the meal plan he made for me along with most of the foods on it.  I gagged when I tried to eat oatmeal and turned my nose up at brussel sprouts and buffalo meat.  I swore I’d never like sweet potatoes.

I realized this morning how many changes I have made that I never thought I would.  I grew up on whole milk, McDonald’s, Pizza Hut, soda and snacks.  No one in our family was or is obese (although my dad has always had a big belly).  It was simply how my generation was raised.  I look back at the long path I’ve taken.  I never had to worry about what I ate (or drank) until I had my 5th baby at 33. This is when Slacker Fattie made her appearance.  I worked out at 28 before I got pregnant with #4 because I wanted to.  I enjoyed it.  But since then, it’s been a chore.  98% of the time I have an “I don’t wanna” attitude- just like going back to school that I talked about in my last post.  Apparently I need to work on that.

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Making changes is a long path.  I made little steps along the way.  I took it one board at a time.  Eventually I did stop eating milk and cereal every morning.  I learned to put oatmeal in smoothies and take the time to make eggs in the morning.  I’ve been able to let go of pasta and bread, although I still have bread a couple of times a week to avoid the “gluten withdrawal.”  I rarely have fast food and when I do, I try to get a salad.  I’ve even started switching from ‘crispy’ to ‘grilled’ chicken.  I used to get a sausage, egg and cheese bagel, no breakfast sauce from McDonald’s.  On my way to class, if I’m hungry, I’ll drive through and get a parfait which I discovered I loved.  I used to eat 3-4 slices of pizza when Hubby orders it at 11 PM and now I can handle only eating one, maybe two slices.  I’ve learned to love brussel sprouts, asparagus, oatmeal and even plain sweet potatoes.  I’ve learned to meal prep and try to eat 5 small meals a day instead of 3 large ones.  I switched from buying soda for the house to just having it when we eat out.  Eventually, even while out I’ll order water.  Now, many times when I have soda, I don’t like it.

Several weeks ago I cut out soda, fast food, junk food, pizza and alcohol (yes, my beloved cocktails) for 2 weeks.  I didn’t exercise very much.  I lost 10 pounds in those 2 weeks.  I need to mention that I was going through a couple of personal issues and instead of having that urge to emotional eat, I wasn’t hungry.  I wasn’t eating much which also contributed to my weight loss.  However, since then, I’ve kept the weight off.  Fit Bitch has the food thing under control.  The next step is embracing the exercise!

It’s been a process, a journey.  I don’t miss the way I used to eat.  If I have a craving, I satisfy it.  I can eat a bite of a cookie and be happy instead of having a plateful.  I showed myself that I can make small, gradual changes and give up the bad habits I had for years.  It can be done if you want to do it.  Just make sure they are small and gradual changes.  Cutting out everything at once generally leads to failure.

If you want it bad enough, you’ll make it happen.

 

Self confidence, losing weight and finding me

Wow it’s been a while since I posted.  A LOT has been going on!

I’ve never had much confidence since I hit the dreadful junior high years. It’s something I’m trying to change….at 42. I have a lot of upcoming goals for myself.  Before the Hot For Halloween challenge, I had my 18 year old take before pictures of me in shorts and a tank top and even in a bathing suit.  I sucked it up and posted the one of me in the shorts on my Facebook. 70 likes and over 25 comments.  I was shocked and humbled.

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Two years ago, after being rear ended, I hit an all time high weight for my small frame- 153 lbs (before kids I was 103, after kids, high teens low 20’s…although I’d reached 143 at one point). With the support and encouragement of my husband and best friend, I changed my main goal of looking hot to being healthy (okay, and looking hot but health came first). I could have hit my end goal a year ago. 6 months ago. 3 months ago. But I’m not easily motivated. I slowly changed my eating and worked out a little. Seeing the scale flash “149” was a big relief. Several months later I saw it flash “139” and I knew I was on my way.  Slow and steady wins the race.

During our last fitness challenge on Tampa Bay Moms Group, the pounds were slowly creeping off. See my Spa 20 review– it helped get me off my butt. I still wasn’t working out much but was working harder on my food issue. In the middle of this 6 week challenge, I was hit with a mild but painful health issue so couldn’t work out. I was also dealing with a couple of personal issues and instead of my usual emotional eating- eating everything in site thinking it would make me feel better- I did the opposite. Still not healthy but I dropped 10 lbs in 2 weeks. At the end of the challenge, I was down 11.5 in and 10.9 lbs. I was down a total of 24 lbs.  I was thrilled!  Not about doing it by not eating but for me, pounds lost were pounds lost.

One of my many goals is to take more pictures of myself. Some of the moms in my fitness challenges, myself included, have self esteem issues. It’s something we will be addressing during our next challenge, Relentless, which starts on November 15th.  Yesterday, Hubby and I went to see a play.  I put on a dress that didn’t fit 3 months ago and my new sparkly shoes.  I curled my hair and carefully applied my make up.  When I got home, I handed my phone to my 18 year old and asked her to take a picture.  I sucked it up and posted it on Facebook- then walked away.  I admit, I squinted at the comments with one eye a couple of times.  This morning, almost 70 friends had liked my picture and several left comments.  I have to admit, it felt good.  It’s also inspiring and motivating.

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Last week, I ran into a friend I hadn’t seen in a couple of months.  She said right away that my face looked thinner.  I can’t tell you how good it feels when people notice you’ve lost weight.  It’s motivating.  It inspires me to keep searching for me.  I didn’t feel like me surrounded by the fat I wasn’t used to.  I’ve been fighting with Slacker Fattie since 2009.  She’s unhealthy and lazy.  I was so glad to rename “Skinny Bitch” to “Fit Bitch” and should probably rename her “Healthy Bitch.”  She is slowly but surely conquering Slacker Fattie.  OMG, just reread the last few lines and I sound like a crazy bitch.  LOL  I’m excited!  I’m anxious to get off of here and dust off my DVDs and get back to working out.

You’ll be hearing from this no-more-Slacker-Fattie-almost-skinny-getting-fit-and-healthy-bitch very soon!!!

RealFitMomism #1

I’m not the only “real fit mom” on the internet. But, I’m probably the only REAL fit mom, meaning I’m 100% real about trying to become fit. I chose RFM because I was a real mom trying to become fit- 5 years later, I’m still trying. Knowing there are so many other real fit moms out there now, I wish I’d chosen a different name. But, it is what it is.

You’ve always seen the real me- usually minus my head because I hate having my picture taken lol. Yup, I quit p90x. I bought P90x3 and did it 4 times in 2 weeks. Don’t worry, I’m picking it up again since I actually paid for it.

You may start seeing RealFitMomism posts.  Why? Because of this:

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A friend of mine has a fitness support group that I love. What I don’t love are some of the comments from people when she has a shitty day, or eats a cake or wants to give up. Bitch, let her whine!!  I posted one of my blog posts on a fitness page and it was removed because “it wasn’t positive.”  I think it was about not wanting to exercise and you can’t make me! It was a real post. Heaven forbid someone cracks for a moment. Hell, how many times have I?  But I’m still here. I haven’t given up and I won’t. That’s why I blog- it’s mine and I can whine on it if I want to!

So here’s my first RealFitMomism:

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Yup, I ate McDonald’s yesterday. It was the first time in over 2 months (except for the free sausage egg and cheese bagel with a Carmel Mocha iced coffee I got free on Mother’s day). I know McDonald’s is bad for me. I know it’s not real food. But I like it. I was nomming on it when I went to pick up my daughter from school. Not only did she yell at me when she got in the car but her friend called me a cheater several times when she saw what was in my hand until I called her mom asking where the hell she was at because her kid was yelling at me for eating McDonald’s. It’s funny how my biggest supporters are an 8 and 11 year old. My daughter will actually smack food out of my hand while my son brings me an ice cream drum stick.

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Last thought- I lost my motivation recently. I’d made it down to 134.1. Then my daughter had a dance convention and I had a mind block on what to bring to eat (it was at a hotel airport where food is beyond ridiculously expensive). I grabbed a bunch of Lunchables for her and ham with rolls for me. When I got home I was back up to 139. I went back down then back up and wanted to quit.

I had just finished a weight loss challenge with tbmg and as always, swore I wasn’t doing another one. Then, like always, a mom sent me a message asking me when the next one started. Poop. That’s all it takes for me. Just one mom. I picked a date then graciously thanked her for asking because I’d lost my motivation. I’d allowed Slacker Fattie to creep back in. But my birthday is in 3 weeks and I plan on Fit Bitch being a beast….after I eat this Chex Mix for breakfast.  What?? My blender is dirty…

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I’m giving myself 1 week to eat what is on my food plan and do at least the P90x workout daily. If I screw up at all I’m going to have to put off my plans to enter the WBFF and try to do it next year. It’s crunch time. Put up or shut up time. No more excuses time.

Either way, I will continue to eat better and workout and slowly whither away Slacker Fattie. I have no room for her in my life. Fit Bitch is here to stay!!

Breakfast this morning-

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Yes, I ate a whole egg. Right now, I just can’t stomach egg whites anymore. I will get back to them next week.

Here goes nothing!!

Ringing in the New Year- goals

I am finally ready this time. I don’t know why I haven’t been ready over the last nine years. I always thought I was motivated enough, driven enough and dedicated enough. Obviously I wasn’t.

I want to feel sexy again. I want to feel good about myself. I want to go SHOPPING!  I don’t want to fail. I’m tired of failing. I’m tired of not fitting int- STOP!  Ugh. I’m yelling at myself in a blog post. Here’s to going batshit crazy! 
Ok. Positivity. Optimism. Drive. Motivation. Will. Determination.

Goals. I’d like to be back down to 115 or 118. However, I’m weight lifting so I’m going more on measurements than numbers on a scale. I want to will feel healthy on the inside. I want to will fit back into size 5 jeans. I want to will rock out a bikini this summer.

But one of my biggest goals is to be able to wear my wedding rings again.

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I haven’t been able to wear them, comfortably,  since about a month after being rear ended in September of 2013. I gained almost 20 lbs in six months- most of that in the first three.

I’m also anxious to finally plan a renewal ceremony for Hubby and I. He bought me a gorgeous 1947 wedding dress when we were in St. Augustine ten years ago. When I lose 15 more lbs, I can start planning! 

I’m eating so much healthier and resisting the urge to cheat even though Hubby and my 17 year old made these last night-

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That’s how I know I’m ready. I’m still not waking up excited to workout but it’s only Day 9. I remind myself that it’s only 20 minutes.

Fit Bitch has new workout pants and wants to WILL defeat Slacker Fattie once and for all!