Queen of Yeah, That Too

I am the Queen of Excuses. I am also the Queen of Procrastination and Cheat Day. If Elizabeth I can rule 3 countries, I can, too!! But I’ll save the latter 2 for another post.

My fitness moms are aware of my “no excuses” attitude. Some are so afraid of my ruling that they email me, afraid they will disappointment me when they are sick. Sheesh, I didn’t think I was that tough!! I always tell them to listen to their bodies and serious illnesses are legit excuses.

But do I follow my own advice? Shit no. I’m the queen dammit!! But that’s going to change. I am a leader and need to act like one. My biggest issue is scheduling. My family has a sort of schedule. Like my daughter, back to school today, has to be dropped off at 7:15 and picked up at 2:30 Monday-Friday. She also has dance 5 days a week but every day has different times. But, every week is the same. My 19 year old and I have set times for our classes. Aside from that, it’s usually total chaos.

Excuses.

I’m home all day. I have plenty of time to get most or all of my to do list done. But I have no structure. One of my admission from our last challenge tried to help me. I need an assistant- who will work for free.

My biggest issue is my ADD. I can’t even sit down to make a plan because it’s too overwhelming.

Excuse.

I can. I just have to clear the table, clear my mind, put away all electronics and make someone sit with me to keep me on task.

Solution.

Most

excuses are just that- excuses. We need to overcome them and provide solutions so we can tackle and complete our tasks. My #1 priority is scheduling workout time. When I get my butt in gear and get the details worked out I’ll share them. I know I’m not the only one who deals with this!!

No more excuses. It’s go time!!

Treating ADD holistically

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I went to a therapist recently about several issues. After our hour long session she diagnosed me with dysthymia. Unlike the last therapist I saw, Dr. Jill wanted to treat me holistically. After being on and off Adderall the last six years I was immediately excited.

She told me to take a capsule of calcium (the one I forgot to get at Publix) and fish oil, get vitamin B shots (which are pricey so I’m taking the capsules instead), a banana, handful of almonds (FYI don’t buy smoked- blech) and a handful of sunflower seeds (I’m lazy and bought the unshelled ones). The first day I did this new regimen I felt like I’d taken a 10 mg Adderall pill but didn’t have the speed feeling or the heart palpitations. I felt amazing!!! I got the whole kitchen cleaned in a fraction of the time it usually takes me.

I posted this picture on my Facebook and had several friends request more information. I was happy to help them…even if I was the one who shelled out $100 for this fabulous cocktail. 😉

Dr. Jill also prescribed me sunshine so I’ve been laying out in the backyard when our crazy Florida weather has allowed it. The Clinique lady chastised me for not wearing sunscreen on my face so I bought some to make her happy (ok, and because I’ll be 40 this year and need to start taking better care of my skin). The last thing she prescribed was a 30 minute walk every day. This one I’ve struggled with but am working on it!

Not having to dish out a bunch of money on synthetic drugs with side effects like death has been a great feeling. I saw Dr. Jill several weeks ago and got off the regimen for the last few weeks but I stocked up again at Publix today and am ready to hit the ground running tomorrow.

Not the sweatpants!!!!!

Oh, yeah. I’ve gotten to that point.

I’m very ashamed to admit that I no longer try to stuff Mt. Saint Muffin Top into my jeans. I’ve moved to sweat pants.

Slacker Fattie has reared her ugly head and actually ate Fit Bitch.

Whole.

Washed her down with a big ole soda and followed it with a giant piece of chocolate cake.

I bought some lingerie from Pure Romance and tried it on last night. I looked in the mirror and couldn’t believe what I saw. I should have looked closer to the model on the tag instead of a model for a full figured whatever.

That’s not me.

For anyone who hasn’t been following me for very long let me point out that I’m not obese. In a lot of people’s eyes I’m not fat. But as someone who used to weigh 103 lbs, 140+ is very big for me. I don’t know how much I weigh exactly because I threw my scale out over a year ago. I wasn’t comfortable at 128 lbs but at least my jeans fit without a whole lot hanging over. I don’t know how or why I’ve let myself go other than the fact that I’m lazy and deep down just haven’t cared. My goal is 115 lbs. I know I’ll never be 103 lbs again because I’m twenty years older and have had five babies. After baby number four I’d dropped to 110 lbs and friends told me I looked sickly. I just want to be happy and healthy again- and to stop writing whiney, woe-is-me posts.

I need to get back on Adderall because my ADD is more manageable when I’m on it and I exercise more. I feel like I’m to the point of having two choices- 1. Give up or 2. Dive in head first. I’m sure my readers are tired of me sliding backward all the time. I’m coming up on my fourth year of blogging and trying to get fit. I’ve wasted FOUR years!!

There are sixteen days left in the Sexy by New Year’s fitness challenge I’m in. I’ll be honest, I thought it already ended. LOL. I’m giving myself sixteen days. If I get off my ass and make Slacker Fattie cough up Fit Bitch I’ll keep blogging and working out. If I stay lazy shoveling food in my face, I’m done. I haven’t decided if I’m going to blog during the next sixteen days or not. I may just wait and surprise you all.

Who thinks I’m going to keep going and who thinks I’m going to fail? Be honest! I have to say if I were a betting woman I’d bet on Slacker Fattie. But Fit Bitch really likes her jeans!!

I did NOT fail!

*WARNING*  I hate proof reading because I see how much my ADD comes through in my writing.  Strap on your seat belts cuz it’s gonna be one hellavan ADD ride!!!!!…………

You can probably guess by my lack of blogging that I didn’t finish Brazil Butt Lift.  I was being very hard on myself and very disappointed in myself until my trainer, Tiffani, and my friend, Karey, gave me a swift kick in the ass.

Tiffani reminded me that I’d finally completed all of the workouts for Week 1 and did the first day of Week 2.  That’s the best I’ve done in the three years I’ve had BBL.  Still whining, I told her I really didn’t want to have to start over and she told me I didn’t have to- just pick up where I left off.  So, today, I’m starting Day 1 of Week 2 (again).  I would like to finish it this month but for now my goal is to finish Week 2.  As I type this I’m not eating an Eggo waffle or Cinnamon Toast Crunch, I’m drinking a smoothie (which, by the way, you can add too much ice) with almond milk, ice and frozen strawberries.  After I finish this I’ll be popping in Sculpt which is always a big hurdle for me.

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Karey spent some time showing me what I’d accomplished with Pure Romance (she’s my sponsor) and showed me how to look at my life with a new perspective.  Instead of focusing on what I didn’t do, she encouraged me to focus on what I did do and make new goals for what I want to do.  I kept hearing other consultants say how dead December was and not to expect much.  I already had five parties booked!  I ended the month with over $2,000 in retail- my highest month yet.  Karey asked each of her team members to do at least $400 for the month.  I did five times what she asked and did twice as much as she did.  Hell, yeah, I’m patting myself on my back!!  (I kicked everyone’s ass in sales, Whoop! Whoop!)

“You keep saying ‘I am trying,’ but yet you do not see the success you have already had.”  This is what Karey said to me to get me to change my perspective on my life and when she reminded me of the monetary goal she’d set for us.

“So here is what I want you to do for Christmas….I want you to be proud of every single thing you have done for your kids this year.”  These were Karey’s parting words for me which I now have on a stickie on my wall.

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All it takes is one little sentence, the right sentence, to get motivated to change your life.  No, I didn’t complete BBL like I wanted to.  But, I finally completed an entire week and I’m not giving up.

I have a friend who has been through some really shitty times in his life.  Many people in his situation would have given up by now and just quit life.  But he keeps going.  I’ve seen us both say we’re going to make positive changes in our lives and we will for a while but then we both slip back into our old ways.  Thanks to Karey and Tiffani I’m hoping that I don’t slide back but if I do, I’ll look back on what I HAVE accomplished and use that as motivation to get back up and going again.  And I’ll help my friend do that as well.  <smack on the forehead> I just realized that I did for him what Karey did for me at Thanksgiving!  I reminded him where he was a year ago and showed him how far he’d come.  It’s amazing how you can dish out advice but can’t seem to make yourself follow what you’re dishing out.  🙂

I have a lot of changes to make regarding my fitness goals but I’m making small changes.  No, I’m not an alcoholic but I was having a cocktail every night while reading and soaking in the tub.  Hubby has strict instructions NOT to make me a drink during the week.  That will cut out a lot of unnecessary calories!  This is a really hard time of year for me and there have been times I’ve wanted to drink my way through it to numb the pain.  But I know that when I wake up the next morning with a killer headache the pain is still there.  I choose to face it head on and not let it get me down.   Exercising releases endorphins and I choose happy endorphins over headaches and vomiting, hands down.

Alright, enough babbling.  Smoothie is almost gone so it’s time to get my sculpt on!

It’s a New Year.  Make some positive changes but take time to reflect on your accomplishments no matter how small they may have been.  2013 is going to be the year Fit Bitch finally conquers Slacker Fattie!

Exercising with ADD

I’m in ADD mode this morning for some reason.  I think I’m at that irritated point again where all the “oh look!  Squirrel!” jokes have caught up to me.  People think that because I make fun of myself and my ADD moments that it’s ok for them to make fun of me, too.  If I had anorexia would you make jokes?  What about OCD?  Or Development Disorders?  Didn’t think so.

I love this picture that I found on the ADDitude Facebook page- pretty much sums up what a lot of us go through:

I scrolled through a few more things and found this-

Ooh, good question. Flora asks: “Anyone know of any fun exercise regimens for people with ADHD/ADD? I’d rather not pay for a gym membership, but if I have to, I will.” How are you adult ADHDers making exercise work for you?

Yay!  I’m not the only person with this issue!  Whew!  I had to laugh though because in true ADD fashion the next 30 responses were Dance!  Swimming!  Walking!  Wii and XBox dance games!  Zumba!

But what about the second question?

Then one lone person actually answered that second question (she probably remembered to take her Adderall).

I might have misunderstood this, but it seems you are asking how to make it WORK. I know I personally will get into a regimen really strong for a while, then I slowly start forgetting or making excuses and eventually I stop. I WANT to work out in such a big way. I want to become “ADD-icted” to exercise, but inevitably I drop. So far, my best way of making it work for me is having a workout partner who (1) understands my weaknesses [quitting] and doesn’t let me do it and (2) understands that most of the time we are just together for companionship of presence and I need to escape into my music.
If my friend allows me to make excuses and doesn’t push me, then once again, I’ll be doomed to fail. But her commitment is strong. I think we should try to get more friends because the more people depending on me, the more likely I will be there.
Maybe finding someone to be there would be your beat help.

BINGO!!!  I suddenly understand my relationship with exercising.  How many times have I said on this blog “I WANT to work out!”?  Now I know why it’s so hard for me.  But now comes the problem solving part.  I’ve asked friends to hold me accountable but they eventually forget.  Even Josh quit because I didn’t hold up my end of the bargain.  But what I need is someone to stick with me through my quit times.  Grapes, Gripes and Gratitude has helped a LOT- so much that I’m afraid to give her my phone number because she understands me so well that I know she’ll blow up my phone every day until I send her a video of me working out holding up a newspaper with today’s date in front of CNN with the current time.

All this time I thought I was just a failure.  But here’s another thing- I hate blaming everything on ADD.  I know it’s some medical issue where brain functions, waves, cells, whatever don’t meet up with some big long medical term I’ll never understand or whatever the boring term stuff, blah blah blah.  I just want to be normal.  Ugh, stupid statement.  I need to embrace my ADD even though I don’t wanna!!!!  I will keep trying new things until I find something that works.  I will keep yo yo-ing until I find someone committed to my commitment.  I will now go back to bed and wallow in my misery. Ummm, I mean go paint my son’s room then workout while it dries.  I have so many projects started and I decided two days ago it’s time to get them finished.  With the oldest off to college the other 3 are moving around which is taking way longer than I thought but we’ll save that for another post.

At any rate, today I start over again.  Slacker Fattie might have finally met her match with Fit Bitch- especially since Fit Bitch has figured out why Slacker Fattie has been so bad with working out.  On the plus side, I’m blogging more!!!  🙂

NOT GIVING UP!!!!!

I just can’t seem to quit.  I tried, I really did.  I totally failed at my challenge to get through Brazil Butt Lift- I don’t even think I lasted two days- but here I am, once again with a new challenge.

I’m determined to keep up with this one not only because I’m tired of how I feel and look but because I will have several (hopefully more) mommies counting on me to help them.  I started a second Fitness Challenge for Tampa Bay Moms Group because I really want to help our mommies get healthy and live longer so they can be there to embarrass their kids when they’re grown.

Yesterday I was in Wal Mart with my 15 year old daughter who needed a new bathing suit and when I commented on how cheap the bikinis were she offered to buy me one.  I tried to refuse her offer until she looked at me and said, “Consider it motivation.”  I love it when my kids have these moments.  We spent 10 minutes looking for a matching top and bottom and finally gave up- I wound up with cute green/pink/black camo bottoms and a plain black top (I crossed my fingers the large top would fit).

Later that evening was in Dillard’s trying on clothes with my 18 year old daughter and started to send Hubby a kinky dressing room picture when I stopped myself.  Why would he want to see my chunky thighs, muffin top and back fat?  I stood in the mirror once again unhappy with how I looked.

On the way home we stopped in a different Wal Mart to see if they had the top in XL (the girls need extra coverage).  Kai spotted one in the same pattern as the bottoms I’d gotten earlier.  I tried it on when I got home and bravely entered her room so seek her opinion- this is my brutally honest kid.  I was pleasantly surprised when she said, “It doesn’t look that bad” as I added “picture 20 pounds less.”

Yesterday was a revelation for getting back on the exercise horse and a great mommy/daughter day.  I got a new bikini to help me get off my butt and exercise and a compliment from Miss Honesty when I was feeling really low- oh, and I should mention she treated me to a pedicure before we went shopping. 😉  I only ate one of the Snickerdoodle cookies she bought, too!!  She got a cute top out of the deal, as well, thanks to my birthday gift card.

Ugh, just re-read this for errors and realized how much my ADD shows sometimes in my writing.  Laugh it off, RFM, laugh it off.  ❤

Ok, Slacker Fattie, time for Skinny Bitch to smack you down…..again.

Day 54…Mountain Top is a Mini-Muffin Top (pic update!)

I’m shrinking!  I’m shrinking!  Aside from my attractive pose (I’m not sure why that seemed like a good idea) and the fact that my tag is sticking out in both pictures (my oldest daughter pointed that out) I’m damn proud of myself.  Skinny Bitch is kicking Slacker Fattie’s butt big time.  The picture on the left is what I looked like three weeks ago and the one on the right was me on Monday.  Since I threw my scale away and my kids scratched my Wii Fit disc again I can’t weight myself but I do know that I’ve lost eight inches in three weeks.  I still have two weeks left till Halloween so I need to do some major work in order for Hubby to pick out something sexy for me to wear.  After looking at Erica’s blog I’m thinking I may need to adjust my countdown.  I think she’s got this set to end on November 20th- I’ve never claimed to be very good at counting, just ask my manager from high school.  She hated me when we did inventory.  I should have known back then I had ADD- I get distracted by shiny things.  Off to dance class!  I’ll write about my cheat day later- yes, I cheated!!