Goodbye old frumpy shirt


This shirt represents a lot.  It’s time to say goodbye to many things in my life and this shirt is a symbol of those things.  I’ve been a jeans and t-shirt mom for 24 years.  I’ve raised two absolutely amazing daughters who I am so incredibly proud of.  I also have a thirteen year old son and an eleven year old daughter who are just wonderful little human beings.  I’ve given all of my adult life to them.

But (isn’t there always a but?) I have put them before me.  This is normal as a mom.  This is what we do.  We put our children before us, most times before our spouses, too.  The kids don’t need me as much any more.  I’m only 44 and still have a lot of life left in me.  It’s time to focus a little (okay, a lot) on me.

I’m tired of being a frumpy mom.  I’m tired of being a lazy housewife.  Yes, laundry gets done, dishes get washed (most of the time), dinners are made, blah, blah, blah…but I do the bare minimum.  I can blame my ADD but I know how to conquer that I don’t want to live that life anymore.  I want to live more.  I want to do more.

So, goodbye grubby shirt.  Goodbye lazy life.  It’s going to take some time and there will be ups and downs, but (there’s that but again!), hello new me!


Being Overwhelmed

Being a human can be busy.  Being a woman can be hectic.  Being a wife can be frenzied.  Being a mom can be flustering.  When you put them all together, along with everything else you do, can be overwhelming.

 I take on a lot.  Too much.  I like to help.  I’m a human, woman, a wife, a mom of 4, a homeschooling mom, dance mom, a student, a WAHM, SAHM, shuttle 3 kids around, run 5 Instagram accounts, 2 Facebook pages, sit on the board for an upcoming company, the chair for a fundraiser at my daughter’s school, a blogger, fitness challenge leader, TBMG admin, a gym member, maid, organizer, cook, crafter, reader, laundry room attendant and more.

 I also have ADD (can you tell?).

 I am also overwhelmed.

 It’s not always a bad thing.  Most of the time I’m able to keep chugging along and get things done. However, I when I get called out (or call myself out) about not keeping up with certain responsibilities, I’m forced to stop and take a look at everything on my titanic-sized plate.  This is when the panic sets in.  This is when I realize just how much I have to do, or have created for myself to do.  This is when I realize that I’m overwhelmed.

 Most people can deal with this rationally and occasionally I’m able to as well.  I make lists, set timers, ask for help, etc.  But sometimes, like the most recent time, I shut down. When I shut down, not a lot gets done.  I hide out.  I’m 5 weeks behind on homework and have a midterm in 9 days.  I haven’t blogged for Real Fit Mom in months.  I haven’t kept up with my duties as a TBMG admin. I’m way behind on pulling winners and promoting sponsors for my fitness challenges.  I joined a gym in November and have been about 6 times.  I have 3 weeks to bling 3 dance costumes and sew bottoms onto 3 shirts.  I haven’t stepped foot in the playroom since Christmas and the only reason my kitchen is clean and laundry is done is because we have to have dishes to eat off of and clothes to wear.

 I wake up every morning knowing what I NEED to do.  I get reminders, most of which I appreciate. Sometimes it still doesn’t get done.

 I know that I’m not alone.

 What others should realize about people like me, is that we don’t skip on responsibilities on purpose.  We WANT to be successful, organized, responsible and reliable.  On the outside, our lives may appear happy-go-lucky and carefree.  Social media doesn’t help.  Smart phones make it harder.  Fun apps provide a safe haven.

 But every day is a new day.  I tell this to my fitness challenge moms a lot.  If you had a bad day yesterday, try to start over today.  Lost a whole week?  Get back on the ball next week.  Shut down for a month (or two)?  Take baby steps to get your shit back together.

 I updated my dry erase calendar yesterday.  Today, I made a short list of things to do on my dry erase board.  After this post, I’ll make a loooooonnnngggg list of things that need to be done.  I have a brand new pack of sticky notes to post reminders to myself.  I’ve also discovered that my dry erase markers work on the refrigerator and my kitchen cabinets.  Yay!  I deleted all of the notes in the Note app on my phone because I never go back to check them.  Instead, I took my fitness iPod holder, stuck some index cards and a pen in it and keep it strapped to my arm.  Yup, I look like a dork but I always have something handy to write things down on.  Ok, so I haven’t actually put it together or worn it, BUT, it’s on my mental list of things to do.

 The good thing is, I woke up this morning, drove my daughter to school and instead of going back to bed, I got on the computer and found stupid articles to keep me occupied for 2 hours……then I got up and made a protein smoothie and sat down to write this article which is growing longer so most of you won’t make it to this point.  But, I’m up, I’m starting over, it’s not even 10:30 am so I still have plenty of time to get things done and I have a plan.  Check back with me later to see if I decided to get back with the world or if I retreated back to my hide out.  😉  #dontgiveup #justkeepswimming #yesiputhashtagsinanarticle

Article also posted on Tampa Bay Moms Group.

Treating ADD holistically


I went to a therapist recently about several issues. After our hour long session she diagnosed me with dysthymia. Unlike the last therapist I saw, Dr. Jill wanted to treat me holistically. After being on and off Adderall the last six years I was immediately excited.

She told me to take a capsule of calcium (the one I forgot to get at Publix) and fish oil, get vitamin B shots (which are pricey so I’m taking the capsules instead), a banana, handful of almonds (FYI don’t buy smoked- blech) and a handful of sunflower seeds (I’m lazy and bought the unshelled ones). The first day I did this new regimen I felt like I’d taken a 10 mg Adderall pill but didn’t have the speed feeling or the heart palpitations. I felt amazing!!! I got the whole kitchen cleaned in a fraction of the time it usually takes me.

I posted this picture on my Facebook and had several friends request more information. I was happy to help them…even if I was the one who shelled out $100 for this fabulous cocktail. 😉

Dr. Jill also prescribed me sunshine so I’ve been laying out in the backyard when our crazy Florida weather has allowed it. The Clinique lady chastised me for not wearing sunscreen on my face so I bought some to make her happy (ok, and because I’ll be 40 this year and need to start taking better care of my skin). The last thing she prescribed was a 30 minute walk every day. This one I’ve struggled with but am working on it!

Not having to dish out a bunch of money on synthetic drugs with side effects like death has been a great feeling. I saw Dr. Jill several weeks ago and got off the regimen for the last few weeks but I stocked up again at Publix today and am ready to hit the ground running tomorrow.

I did NOT fail!

*WARNING*  I hate proof reading because I see how much my ADD comes through in my writing.  Strap on your seat belts cuz it’s gonna be one hellavan ADD ride!!!!!…………

You can probably guess by my lack of blogging that I didn’t finish Brazil Butt Lift.  I was being very hard on myself and very disappointed in myself until my trainer, Tiffani, and my friend, Karey, gave me a swift kick in the ass.

Tiffani reminded me that I’d finally completed all of the workouts for Week 1 and did the first day of Week 2.  That’s the best I’ve done in the three years I’ve had BBL.  Still whining, I told her I really didn’t want to have to start over and she told me I didn’t have to- just pick up where I left off.  So, today, I’m starting Day 1 of Week 2 (again).  I would like to finish it this month but for now my goal is to finish Week 2.  As I type this I’m not eating an Eggo waffle or Cinnamon Toast Crunch, I’m drinking a smoothie (which, by the way, you can add too much ice) with almond milk, ice and frozen strawberries.  After I finish this I’ll be popping in Sculpt which is always a big hurdle for me.


Karey spent some time showing me what I’d accomplished with Pure Romance (she’s my sponsor) and showed me how to look at my life with a new perspective.  Instead of focusing on what I didn’t do, she encouraged me to focus on what I did do and make new goals for what I want to do.  I kept hearing other consultants say how dead December was and not to expect much.  I already had five parties booked!  I ended the month with over $2,000 in retail- my highest month yet.  Karey asked each of her team members to do at least $400 for the month.  I did five times what she asked and did twice as much as she did.  Hell, yeah, I’m patting myself on my back!!  (I kicked everyone’s ass in sales, Whoop! Whoop!)

“You keep saying ‘I am trying,’ but yet you do not see the success you have already had.”  This is what Karey said to me to get me to change my perspective on my life and when she reminded me of the monetary goal she’d set for us.

“So here is what I want you to do for Christmas….I want you to be proud of every single thing you have done for your kids this year.”  These were Karey’s parting words for me which I now have on a stickie on my wall.


All it takes is one little sentence, the right sentence, to get motivated to change your life.  No, I didn’t complete BBL like I wanted to.  But, I finally completed an entire week and I’m not giving up.

I have a friend who has been through some really shitty times in his life.  Many people in his situation would have given up by now and just quit life.  But he keeps going.  I’ve seen us both say we’re going to make positive changes in our lives and we will for a while but then we both slip back into our old ways.  Thanks to Karey and Tiffani I’m hoping that I don’t slide back but if I do, I’ll look back on what I HAVE accomplished and use that as motivation to get back up and going again.  And I’ll help my friend do that as well.  <smack on the forehead> I just realized that I did for him what Karey did for me at Thanksgiving!  I reminded him where he was a year ago and showed him how far he’d come.  It’s amazing how you can dish out advice but can’t seem to make yourself follow what you’re dishing out.  🙂

I have a lot of changes to make regarding my fitness goals but I’m making small changes.  No, I’m not an alcoholic but I was having a cocktail every night while reading and soaking in the tub.  Hubby has strict instructions NOT to make me a drink during the week.  That will cut out a lot of unnecessary calories!  This is a really hard time of year for me and there have been times I’ve wanted to drink my way through it to numb the pain.  But I know that when I wake up the next morning with a killer headache the pain is still there.  I choose to face it head on and not let it get me down.   Exercising releases endorphins and I choose happy endorphins over headaches and vomiting, hands down.

Alright, enough babbling.  Smoothie is almost gone so it’s time to get my sculpt on!

It’s a New Year.  Make some positive changes but take time to reflect on your accomplishments no matter how small they may have been.  2013 is going to be the year Fit Bitch finally conquers Slacker Fattie!

No more playing around

Yes, once again I only made it through Day one of Brazil Butt Lift.  Actually, I only made it through the first DVD.

But tomorrow things change.

I was dragged by my hair to join a fitness challenge (ok, not really but if Tiffani could have reached through the phone and grabbed my hair she would have!!!).  Today I posted my before pictures of my in my super cute bikini I’ve never gotten to wear.  They were bad.  You’ll see them at the end of this challenge next to my kick ass AFTER pictures.

I know you all are tired of me trying to complete Brazil Butt Lift but believe me, I’m waaaaay more tired of than you.  I have to play my own music to get through it now.  I’ve said it before, it really is a great program just not if you’ve tried and failed to complete it for 3 years.

For those of you who have followed me for a year or more you’ll remember Tiffani and my workouts at Powerhouse Gym Downtown Tampa last January.  I wish I could have worked out with her more but 1. it was getting pricey and 2. she moved to a different gym.

The difference this time with BBL is that Tiffani is hounding all of us on Facebook and if we try to hide from her she’ll text us.  She’s also agreed to host a Pure Romance party and she needs to tell me that if I don’t complete BBL she won’t do it.  That’ll motivate me!!!

So here we go again.  Wish me luck…..again!

Who’s betting on Slacker Fattie and who’s betting on Fit Bitch?

I’m still alive……kinda

Ok, so I was doing really well with the whole BBL thing until I got food poisoning.  Well, I gave it to myself actually.  Next time I should put a sticky note with the date on the salmon when I put it in the fridge to thaw- whoopsie!  On the plus side I think I lost about five pounds.

I’ve also been taking my Adderall more regularly which not only means I’m getting a lot more done with Pure Romance and around the house but I’m paying attention to the ‘loss of appetite’ side effect.  <removed rant about people making it REALLY hard for those of us who NEED Adderall, etc to get it.  No kudos for you idiots!  You know who you are!!!!>

So, anywho, I screwed up Week Two of BBL but on the plus side I’m eating a LOT less!  I know breakfast is the most important meal of the day and when I don’t take my Addy I literally get sick if I don’t eat but when I do take it I’m just not hungry.  Lately it’ll be noon and I realize I’ve forgotten to eat!

Tomorrow morning I’ll simply pick up right on schedule and fill in lots of “FAIL” for last week.  I have come to realize I despise Brazil Butt Lift- not because it’s a bad program (it’s really, really good) I’m just bored with it.  I find myself rolling my eyes doing Cardio Axe because I can do it without the DVD.  But I only have two more weeks and I’m finished!

Don’t forget to nag me tomorrow to make sure I’m off my lazy butt!

Exercising with ADD

I’m in ADD mode this morning for some reason.  I think I’m at that irritated point again where all the “oh look!  Squirrel!” jokes have caught up to me.  People think that because I make fun of myself and my ADD moments that it’s ok for them to make fun of me, too.  If I had anorexia would you make jokes?  What about OCD?  Or Development Disorders?  Didn’t think so.

I love this picture that I found on the ADDitude Facebook page- pretty much sums up what a lot of us go through:

I scrolled through a few more things and found this-

Ooh, good question. Flora asks: “Anyone know of any fun exercise regimens for people with ADHD/ADD? I’d rather not pay for a gym membership, but if I have to, I will.” How are you adult ADHDers making exercise work for you?

Yay!  I’m not the only person with this issue!  Whew!  I had to laugh though because in true ADD fashion the next 30 responses were Dance!  Swimming!  Walking!  Wii and XBox dance games!  Zumba!

But what about the second question?

Then one lone person actually answered that second question (she probably remembered to take her Adderall).

I might have misunderstood this, but it seems you are asking how to make it WORK. I know I personally will get into a regimen really strong for a while, then I slowly start forgetting or making excuses and eventually I stop. I WANT to work out in such a big way. I want to become “ADD-icted” to exercise, but inevitably I drop. So far, my best way of making it work for me is having a workout partner who (1) understands my weaknesses [quitting] and doesn’t let me do it and (2) understands that most of the time we are just together for companionship of presence and I need to escape into my music.
If my friend allows me to make excuses and doesn’t push me, then once again, I’ll be doomed to fail. But her commitment is strong. I think we should try to get more friends because the more people depending on me, the more likely I will be there.
Maybe finding someone to be there would be your beat help.

BINGO!!!  I suddenly understand my relationship with exercising.  How many times have I said on this blog “I WANT to work out!”?  Now I know why it’s so hard for me.  But now comes the problem solving part.  I’ve asked friends to hold me accountable but they eventually forget.  Even Josh quit because I didn’t hold up my end of the bargain.  But what I need is someone to stick with me through my quit times.  Grapes, Gripes and Gratitude has helped a LOT- so much that I’m afraid to give her my phone number because she understands me so well that I know she’ll blow up my phone every day until I send her a video of me working out holding up a newspaper with today’s date in front of CNN with the current time.

All this time I thought I was just a failure.  But here’s another thing- I hate blaming everything on ADD.  I know it’s some medical issue where brain functions, waves, cells, whatever don’t meet up with some big long medical term I’ll never understand or whatever the boring term stuff, blah blah blah.  I just want to be normal.  Ugh, stupid statement.  I need to embrace my ADD even though I don’t wanna!!!!  I will keep trying new things until I find something that works.  I will keep yo yo-ing until I find someone committed to my commitment.  I will now go back to bed and wallow in my misery. Ummm, I mean go paint my son’s room then workout while it dries.  I have so many projects started and I decided two days ago it’s time to get them finished.  With the oldest off to college the other 3 are moving around which is taking way longer than I thought but we’ll save that for another post.

At any rate, today I start over again.  Slacker Fattie might have finally met her match with Fit Bitch- especially since Fit Bitch has figured out why Slacker Fattie has been so bad with working out.  On the plus side, I’m blogging more!!!  🙂