Ups+Downs=Motivation


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This morning I went to a post product testing shoot.  The first step was to put on the bathing suit I wore in the first shoot.  Ugh.  Looking at the other women in the room, I definitely had the most fluff.  I was not feeling so good about myself. I sucked it up, put on the bathing suit and stood in front of a camera with several people behind it and smiled.  The production manager had my before pictures pulled up and said I’d definitely lost some inches.  That made me happy since my weight hasn’t moved at all (thank you weight lifting). So, I was feeling good about myself.

Then came the interview part.  For this, I had to bring in several wardrobe choices for them to pick from.  I was surprised when they chose a sexy purple dress that I only wear when I go out with the Hubs.  Feeling kinda good!

Then, the producer says I need to wear a body shaper underneath.  Okay, no biggie.

Ummmmm, yeah, no.

I’ve never worn a body shaper before.  I almost went back out and asked if they had a bigger size.  Or a crow bar.  Or someone who was really strong who could help me.  But, after much tugging and pulling, I managed to shove fat I didn’t even know I had into this torturous contraption. Feeling really, really, really crappy.  I thought I only had about 10 pounds to lose but that was a lot of fluff to stuff!

The interview part is always unnerving for me.  I feel stupid.  But, they kept telling me I was doing really good and looked great.  The camera guy even said that was a perfect color for me.  This upped my spirits some.

Yes, it was a roller coaster of emotions for a couple of hours but I walked away feeling more motivated.  I made it to Powerhouse Athletic Gym four times last week which I’d done previously but over the course of four months- as in I went to the gym four times in four months.  I’ve made a big difference in my life recently.  I’m making changes in my diet and working out more.  I’m putting old ghosts to rest and focusing on the now and the future.  I’m getting somewhere.  It’s just going to take time….which is the topic for my next post. 😉

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