While reading the news and seeing posts on Facebook I see a lot about “society allows this to happen” “society makes us feel…..” “the media says we should…”
We know who the media is- news stations, magazines, newspapers, bloggers, etc.
But who exactly is ‘society’?
Think about it.
Do you get it?
WE ARE SOCIETY!!!!!
people in general thought of as living together in organized communities with shared laws, traditions, and values
: the people of a particular country, area, time, etc., thought of especially as an organized community
That’s US people!!! All we need to do is start speaking up which some in the blogging society are doing. What got me started on this was seeing a news story about a ‘plus size’ model doing a photo shoot with no make up and unedited. Over 2,000 people commented about her NOT being plus size. Ninety-nine percent of the people didn’t give a crap that she wore no make up and had an unedited picture.
Society and the media were blamed saying people and pictures like this are what cause the youth of today (and adults) to have body image issues and eating disorders. People were ticked off that this size “10” model had the audacity to call herself ‘plus size.’ And the news station thought it was great! Bull poopy.
The next day I saw a post written by, Bridgette, which was titled “Exposed by my children for what I really look like.” One of her kids used her phone to take a picture of her on the beach. She found it while going through her photos and was mortified.
Where she saw fat, her children saw beauty. Once they told her that they thought she looked “so beautiful” and that the picture “could be a postcard” she shifted her thinking a little. “My default mode is to see and focus on the flaws and imperfections. I’m starting to see a bit more.” She still picked out each flaw she spotted but in between she added the beauty she could see within and around her. She made the change.
The day after that another body image post popped up that was written by the girl who runs the front desk at the dance studio. She has become one of my favorite bloggers with her raw honesty and passion. In her post “I woke up like this” Danielle talks about the pressures of having and keeping perfect dance bodies and what some girls do to achieve them. This is a big issue in the dance world, especially ballet. Like she said, “there aren’t heavy ballerinas.” In some other areas of dance I’m seeing a change. There are amazing contemporary, hip hop and tap dancers who aren’t starving ballerinas. They are showing that you can be talented and still eat. They are making the change. It was difficult for me to find one favorite part of Danielle’s post because she makes a number of excellent points. But this one hit home for me with my weight struggles- “It isn’t about being tall, short, fat, skinny, curvy, slim, whatever. It’s about being healthy and happy. It’s about looking the way YOU want. Not the way everyone else wants you to look. You shouldn’t ever try to look a certain way for anyone other than yourself. Because at the end of the day, you’re the one who has to live with it.”
That’s something that I’ve struggled with. I put a strain on my marriage obsessing over what I looked like and bugged Hubby about helping me remember to work out and eat healthy. He doesn’t care. Even though I’m forty-five pounds over the 103 I was when we got married he still finds me attractive. The problem is mine.
But, I’m an adult and am unaffected by what “society” thinks is attractive. I don’t give a shit about what celebrities look like. I know what I want to look like- the thinner, healthier me. My rock bottom moment was sitting in a neurologists office, in tears, after the nurse put me on the scale and she had to add the 50 weight. I sat there crying, texting my best friend telling her I weighed 153 pounds. Aside from when I was pregnant I’ve NEVER been that much. She told me I needed to redirect my energy on getting HEALTHY instead of looking skinny. One hundred and fifty-three pounds isn’t a healthy weight for me (yes, I know there are women who would love to weigh that much but that’s where you have to find what is healthy and realistic for YOU). I’ll be healthier at 125-130. I’ll be happier at 115-120. This points in this post is why I renamed ‘Skinny Bitch’ ‘Fit Bitch.’ I’m making the change. Although she should probably be named ‘Healthy Bitch.’
I’m a member of a fitness Facebook page full of women who the media would consider attractive, which really isn’t motivating for me. They have beautiful, fit bodies that they love to share pictures of. Blah, blah, blah. My friends like Heather, co-author of Mamas in Pajamas and my friends Sabrina, Geralyn and Kristi are my motivators. Bikini Body Mommy is my motivator. They are moms who aren’t afraid to show the world that they are starting their own movement to get fit and HEALTHY. They post their progression pictures proudly which I absolutely love because it causes me to get off my butt and work on my own HEALTH. They are making the change.
Stop blaming “society” (which is really only blaming yourself) and make the change. Be proud to post pictures of yourself. Hashtag #iamsociety or #changingsociety or #screwthemedia or whatever other hashtags you can think of. We have to power to create our own society and show the media what we truly think is beautiful, sexy and healthy.