I don’t love my body…and you can’t make me!

I posted a story on our local mommy website, Tampa Bay Moms Group, about a woman who shared her before and after pictures.  These aren’t your typical before and after shots, though.  Click here to read Taryn Brumfitt’s story.  Here is the picture that quickly reached 3 million hits-


Her message to women is to love your body.

This is an inspiring story and message.

But it’s not the message for me.  If she is comfortable with her current body, kudos to her and all women who are fluffy, pudgy, squishy and all the other words women used to describe their imperfect bodies in her video.

I don’t love my body.  I don’t love it and it has nothing to do with society, social media, underweight models and air brushed pictures in magazines.  I don’t love my body because I’m thirty pounds overweight.  I’m uncomfortable.  My clothes don’t fit.  I hate having pictures taken of me.

I don’t love my body because  I don’t feel healthy.

I was at a neurology appointment for my neck a couple of months ago and of course the first thing they do is have you get on the scale.  She had to back it up, add on the 50 and start over.

One hundred and fifty-two pounds.

152 lbs.


That’s pretty much what I texted my best friend.  I was in tears.  Aside from when I was pregnant I’ve never weighed over 150, and even then I wasn’t much over.  When the doctor came in she asked what was wrong and I told her.  She said that it was okay, I had an excuse since I couldn’t work out while my neck was healing.  That didn’t make me feel any better.  It made me angry.  When Kristi messaged me back she told me I needed to stop trying to lose weight so I would look better and focus on losing weight to be healthy.  The more I gained the more damage I was doing to myself.  On my 5’4″ small frame, 152 is not a healthy weight for me.  Am I obese?  No.  According to WebMD my BMI is 26.1 which is a tad over ‘overweight.’

Just to be sure, I tried several different websites and they all came back with the same answer- Your bmi is 26.1. You are considered overweight.

I’m fat…for me.

I’ve said this over and over again.  This isn’t me.  This extra weight isn’t a part of who I am.  I think that’s why I created Slacker Fattie and Skinny Bitch who was later renamed Fit Bitch.  I needed a way to express who I am at the moment and who I want to become.  If you go back through my posts over the last four years you’ll see my struggle to get fit and healthy.  You’ll see big gaps in between posts from when I fall off the wagon and stop working out for a while- or when I’m a dork and twist my knee, fall in the bathroom, or on the road (still need to post that story).  🙂  I chose the title “Real Fit Mom” not because I’m a really fit mom but because I wanted to be real, be fit and I’m a mom.

I don’t tell my kids I want to lose weight because I want to look like a cover model, I tell them I want to be fit and healthy.  I encourage them to workout with me so they can get stronger and be healthy, not so they won’t get fat.  I’ve cut down on fast food for them letting them know it’s bad for you and the food mommy cooks is healthier.  I can be a good role model for them and not be overweight.  I’ve given birth to five children but I don’t have to look like I have to be a good role model for my kids.

It’s my body.  I don’t have to like it if I don’t want to.  YOU CAN’T MAKE ME!!!!


4 thoughts on “I don’t love my body…and you can’t make me!

  1. I find your honesty endearing. Only a woman with confidence would admit what you have.

    I find Ms. Brumfitt to be a Hippocratic–profiting financially from women who may not be in a good place in their life.

    I left this comment on her blog.

    Ms. Brumfitt,

    You say your cause is to empower women to feel good about their body. Forgive me for I am about to be unpopular here, but I don’t see you this way. Making such a big deal over 25 extra pounds is hardly a life challenge.

    Just because you were willing to put up a naked picture of your after baby body doesn’t make you a role model by any stretch. It merely implies that you were worried enough about your weight that you felt an intense need to justify to others why you now look “normal” compared to your before picture (which by the way is not normal so I’m puzzled as to who you really are).

    I know plenty of women who dedicate many volunteer hours a month to help women but they don’t take to social media to draw attention to themselves. Let’s start with some real female heroes; the women in our military.

    Many are mothers who volunteered to leave their children to serve. Some have lost limbs, a far greater loss than loosing their “before” baby body. They don’t attempt to pitch their story to the morning talk shows, or sell self-promotional items on their blog. If you ask them how they are doing, they will say they are just fine, make a joke about how they try to get 50% off shoes or gloves, and will change the subject.

    You should just be grateful that your body is full, with a reserve, and not use what God gave you for 15 minutes of fame, or gaining thousands FB fans who are complete strangers and who will forget your name in a month. You may need those extra pounds someday if you undergo chemotherapy, and you will wonder why the thought of your “after baby body” ever crossed your mind.

    I don’t need women like you who’ve had an “epiphany” to empower me. If you really wanted to help women you wouldn’t be trying to make money off your e-book. Writing is a labor of love which could have been your contribution to helping women.

    I’m sure this will fall on deaf ears, (or eyes since you are reading his). You are probably too infected with the narcivirus to understand this, but I hope you will take this to heart and spend your time volunteering at a women’s shelter rather than sitting at your computer waiting for book orders and praising comments on your blog.

    TRUE heroes never boast.

    Victoria Grace F.

    • Victoria, you moved me to tears. I’m not here to make money, just to motivate and encourage women to be comfortable with themselves. Like you, I didn’t agree with her movement. I didn’t donate money. I strive to be her before and if people don’t like it, screw them. I want to be healthy and that includes losing at least 20-25 pounds. I finally got my husband on board and made him realize what an enabler
      he has been.

    • I appreciate your input. I don’t need nor want fame or money from sharing my personal story or to encourage others to become fit and healthy. Everyone should love their body and if they don’t, shouldn’t be afraid to do something about it so they can love their body.

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