Today is January 3, 2014. I’m sitting in my kitchen eating the same thing I had the last two mornings. I think I need to switch things up tomorrow. It’s a sausage, egg and veggie creation that I’ll post later today.
Last week, I realized I was finally feeling healed enough from my accident to start working out. The only thing that still hurts is my neck when I look down. I completed all of my therapy sessions in the beginning of December and am not sure where to go from here. I knew that on January 1st I wanted to start eating healthy and get back to the gym. So I ate lots of delicious foods during the holidays all the way up to New Year’s Eve. Gotta go out with a bang, right?
January 1st I woke up, made much healthier breakfast than the one I’d been eating
and set about purging my house- another big goal for myself. I was planning on going back to the gym when the kids went back to school on the 6th.
Something happened last night which made me get started sooner. I was forced to take a good, hard look at myself. I finally got on the scale at Publix and made myself really look at myself in the mirror- naked. I’ve said before that clothes hide a lot and they do. My own kids can’t see it. I know I’ll never be 103 lbs like I was when I got married but I’ve been 115-120 and felt great. Right now I’m 148 which is how much I weighed when I went into labor with my oldest 9 lb 2 oz daughter.
None of my clothes fit. I’ve had a couple of friends tell me to embrace myself, to love myself the way that I am and to buy bigger clothes. But I don’t want to do that. I don’t want back fat rolls, extra chins, fat arms, thighs that rub together and a belly that hangs over my pants. That’s not me.
If people can’t support me then I’ll start cutting them out of my life.
In my last post I mentioned that I wanted to be an over 40 fitness model. I realized yesterday that I made that goal for me. All of my other goals were to win a challenge or to look good for my husband. But that goal was all mine. I didn’t get that until I was on a walk last night.
Fitness wise 2013 wasn’t a good year for me. I failed a lot of times in the past but I have a good feeling about 2014. If you think going to fail- stop following my blog. If you tell me I need to love myself- get lost. And if you tell me I look great after I post my before pictures- don’t. As I’ve said before, I can do this. And I will.