Oh, yeah. I’ve gotten to that point.
I’m very ashamed to admit that I no longer try to stuff Mt. Saint Muffin Top into my jeans. I’ve moved to sweat pants.
Slacker Fattie has reared her ugly head and actually ate Fit Bitch.
Washed her down with a big ole soda and followed it with a giant piece of chocolate cake.
I bought some lingerie from Pure Romance and tried it on last night. I looked in the mirror and couldn’t believe what I saw. I should have looked closer to the model on the tag instead of a model for a full figured whatever.
That’s not me.
For anyone who hasn’t been following me for very long let me point out that I’m not obese. In a lot of people’s eyes I’m not fat. But as someone who used to weigh 103 lbs, 140+ is very big for me. I don’t know how much I weigh exactly because I threw my scale out over a year ago. I wasn’t comfortable at 128 lbs but at least my jeans fit without a whole lot hanging over. I don’t know how or why I’ve let myself go other than the fact that I’m lazy and deep down just haven’t cared. My goal is 115 lbs. I know I’ll never be 103 lbs again because I’m twenty years older and have had five babies. After baby number four I’d dropped to 110 lbs and friends told me I looked sickly. I just want to be happy and healthy again- and to stop writing whiney, woe-is-me posts.
I need to get back on Adderall because my ADD is more manageable when I’m on it and I exercise more. I feel like I’m to the point of having two choices- 1. Give up or 2. Dive in head first. I’m sure my readers are tired of me sliding backward all the time. I’m coming up on my fourth year of blogging and trying to get fit. I’ve wasted FOUR years!!
There are sixteen days left in the Sexy by New Year’s fitness challenge I’m in. I’ll be honest, I thought it already ended. LOL. I’m giving myself sixteen days. If I get off my ass and make Slacker Fattie cough up Fit Bitch I’ll keep blogging and working out. If I stay lazy shoveling food in my face, I’m done. I haven’t decided if I’m going to blog during the next sixteen days or not. I may just wait and surprise you all.
Who thinks I’m going to keep going and who thinks I’m going to fail? Be honest! I have to say if I were a betting woman I’d bet on Slacker Fattie. But Fit Bitch really likes her jeans!!