I see you looking at the top of the screen to make sure you’re still on Real Fit Mom. Yes, you read that correctly and yes I am really joining a gym. I’m not really sure how it got started, it’s sort of a blur. I went to Lifestyles Family Fitness to sign my teens up for their free teen memberships over the summer. The guy at the desk (who was so bored he was playing with Play-Doh) casually (and intentionally I’m sure) mentioned that I could join for $20 (oh, excuse me $19.99) a month, no contract and the teens are free for the rest of the year. I very sweetly explained to him that I don’t do well joining gyms and let him know about the arsenal of workout equipment I had at home. He went back to playing with his Play-Doh (I reminded him not to eat it) but casually (and intentionally I’m sure) reiterated that it was month to month. So I asked, “And it’s only $20 a month?” “$19.99″ he corrected. My oldest teen backed him up telling me she would make sure I went and that I really needed to do this….”plus me and Rach would be free for the rest of the year!” Rach would be the kid behind me playing with the 4 year old completely uninterested in this gym nonsense.
Hmmmmmmmm, grrrrrrrrrrr, arrrrggggghhhhhhh, hmmmmmmmmm, oohhhhhhh alriiiggghhhhtttt. Ugh, I’ll do it. So Play-Doh boy pointed me in the direction of Tim (do they hire young kids to deliberately make me feel old?) who would sign me up. I answer all of his questions, make sure I’m only paying $20 a month, “$19.99” he corrected, and sign on the dotted line- which is now a tiny electronic signature thingy with a stylus pen. This is when he gets me. He turns the monitor so I can see it, points out that he waved an imaginary $80 fee, quickly points out other random fees then tells me I owe $62. Ummmmmmmm, what happened to the $20, excuse me $19.99? Play-Doh boy mentioned nothing about extra fees, he said $19.99 (See? You can teach an old dog new tricks!). I begrudgingly hand over my debit card feeling certain that although I received the DIRECT DEPOSIT NOTIFICATION (that’s how it appears in my email) I’m sure it’s not actually IN my bank yet. Five agonizingly long minutes go by before Tim returns saying, “No go!” Well, at least I warned him beforehand that I was most likely broke- I did however have $30 cash which would have covered the $20. Ack! I mean $19.99 (I forgot to mention I turned 38 on Monday and my memory isn’t as good as it used to be). So today I’m supposed to meet with Dennis who will be sitting over there ——–> because Tim has today off. His memory must be going, too, because as I stood to leave he said, “I’ll see you tomorrow….oh wait, I have tomorrow off.” Dur dur dur, I know his schedule better than him now!
So when the eldest teen gets home from study group she’ll be pushing me out the door to go sign up and fork over $62 of my hard earned (cough, cough, not, cough cough) money and join the gym rats across America. But guess what? If I have to go I’m making the younger teen go with me whether she likes it or not- she’ll get to suffer right along with me!
Hmmmmmm, I’m looking for an image on Yahoo to use in here and I Yahoogled “dragging to the gym” hoping to find a picture of someone dragging someone by the hair. Instead there’s a hundred pictures of happy people working out! I know not everyone LOVES to go the gym, it can’t be just me. So I Yahoogled (yes, I did just make up that word, lol) “dragging mom to the gym” check this out!
mmmmmmmmmm, forget waiting for the eldest teen to get home, I’m going to go sign up now!!!!! Right after I eat (see pic below which was also under “dragging mom to the gym”)
Turns out Mr. Yummy is also a WordPress blogger (not sure if this is really him but who cares? He’s an entertaining blogger). No, I’m not embarrassed to admit I was ogling his picture- I’m married, not dead!
Ok, I give up. I Yahoogled “mom to the gym” and found a picture of a ‘body builder’ who looked like someone put mini balloons under his skin….everywhere! Oh, and two old naked men on exercise bikes. Forget the sandwich, I lost my appetite. And yes, I’m completely aware that I haven’t had my Adderall in 4 months and it shows big time in this post. That’s just how I work!