I was hoping to leave these two behind on my old blog. However, I discovered today that they will be with me until the day I die. They came to life two years ago when I was on a quest to win a weight loss contest. Skinny Bitch conquered Slacker Fattie coming in 1st place. Within six months Slacker Fattie was back. Today it hit me that Hubby noticed she was back as well.
I was seeing signs that she was creeping back into my life but I tried to ignore her. She made the midnight phone calls to Pizza Hut and Pappa John’s when Hubby and I were craving a midnight snack. She whispered in my ear to go ahead and eat another slice because she knows pizza is my weakness. Skinny B!tch would wake up TICKED OFF and ready to work it off but Slacker Fattie would convince me to pour that whole milk into the bowl of Capn’ Crunch or Frosted Flakes. Skinny Bitch would urge me to hop onto the Wii Fit Plus, log in that day’s stats then Slacker Fattie would get hungry and turn it off. Slacker Fattie LOVES cheese and adds it to sandwiches, omelets, chips, ground beef and grilled chicken breasts lightly seasoned with Mrs. Dash- she is a very dominant presence.
I realized tonight that I have the power to control my alter egos (I assure you I am neither crazy nor schizophrenic). I am simply being honest about the constant struggle real women face every day. I was told recently that I can’t write a blog about exercising when I don’t exercise. Wanna bet? RealFitMom is just that. A real mom and her struggles to get fit. Would it be encouraging to you if I woke up every morning, popped in a slice of whole wheat organic bread topped with grass, drank weird healthy carrot-seaweed shakes and worked out 6 hours a day? No. What you want to hear is how I try and screw up. Why? Because it makes me more real which will hopefully make you more apt to jump on board to get fit with me. Are we going to become fitness models? Hell no. But we’ll feel better about ourselves with every positive step and beat ourselves up with every slice of pizza or spoon of ice cream. It’s not about having the perfect body- it’s about the journey to be happy with ourselves. And all three of us will get there eventually.